Unplug to Recharge

Let’s be honest, the world feels so loud these days. Many of us jump on social media to decompress, but have you noticed that mindlessly scrolling isn’t actually helping? If you are anything like me, you might be feeling worse as you watch everyone’s perfectly curated feeds knowing full well most people are only sharing the highlight reels. Let’s couple that with the amount of disinformation from every side of the aisle regarding the state of the nation, and doom scrolling in general; at least our elected officials aren’t afraid to show us their “crazy” and that is as unfiltered as it gets. Am I right?

During Covid 19, all we had for connection was brought to us by the marvel of technology. It’s been five years post start of a pandemic and social media has become nothing short of overwhelming. So about a year ago I decided to do something about it and really started to limit my exposure. At first it was slow and I began to put a timer on my social media usage, then I unfollowed groups and even people that weren’t aligning with my individual growth or goals. Anything that felt chaotic or disorganized, dramatic or widly illogical got the “mute” option first, then eventually the “unfollow” or “leave group” treatment. It was scary because many of these online groups had offered me a sense of community and solid substantiated information at one point; leaving felt like I was betraying a loved one. I even worried about offending people who I once considered friends if I unfollowed them. Then as I “cleaned house” so to speak, I realized I spent much less time feeling the need to be online and I learned how beneficial it was when I unplugged to recharge.

In today’s blog, I’m going to walk you through four easy steps that will build your confidence to detox your day to day, and I’m not just talking about a social media cleanse.

Step One: Set Boundaries with Technology

Make the Do Not Disturb (DND) function your new best friend (BFF)

Technology giveth anxiety, but you have the power to silence that. Sure, when you’re a boss babe, you are always in demand but leave them wanting more and don’t make yourself so available to everyone and everything. Use the function on your phone for DND and discipline yourself to respect the status. A tip I use often is to time block your daily schedule so you are only responding to emails, texts, and other messages during an allotted time frame of your choosing. People who respect your time, space, and hustle will not be mad when they see you are on DND. I’ll get into time blocking a bit more below.

Schedule some screen free time

I balance a lot of things every day and sometimes people wonder how I manage it all. Technology does help, but I make it a point to use technology wisely. I have built a habit to time block my days and I include some screen free time into my schedule. I know I’ve mentioned time blocking twice so far, so let me break down what that means. Time blocking is a time management technique that involves setting aside specific times for tasks. This can be used at work or even in your personal life. So when practicing time blocking you would schedule out your days and to start your detox, maybe you implement screen-free hours, like during meals or 2 hours before bed.

Break up with your social media

I know this sounds drastic, but you’ve got to dig deep with this one. Like a bad ex you just can’t quit and you don’t know why, it’s time for you to figure out what keeps you coming back to social media? If it is seeing your friends post pictures of their kids, or their most recent accomplishments – maybe reach out to those friends and figure out a different way to stay connected.

If you just can’t fathom a break up with social media, maybe just have a “hit it and quit it” approach. Consider having two to three days a week where you open up your social apps and catch up. Limit your time on each app to no more than 15 minutes. To ensure you are only spending a short amount of time on social media, take a day to curate your feed and start your personal purge of any content that doesn’t bring you joy or peace.

Chances are the people who bring you the most enrichment to your life are already texting you pictures of their kids or sharing their most recent accomplishments. Cultivate those friendships, not a following.

Step Two: Prioritize the three ‘R’s

Restoration, Rest, and Relaxation. This needs to be your new mantra starting today. Ditch the dirty R’s – the Rat Race. Slow it down, life is too short to be pressed for anyone or anything.

Restoration:

Restoration calls for engaging in activities that don’t require you to focus on a screen. Think about what truly “fills your cup”. What makes you feel good or accomplished? Is it a walk or hike through nature? Are you booking pilates classes like an addict just to get some endorphins? Volunteering in your local community? Whatever you choose, let it reset and restore you.

Rest:

Rest is so critical to function in general. Some people need 3 hours of sleep to feel rested and others need the full recommended 8 hours. There is no right way to rest, but rest is such an important part of detoxing your day to day. Consider disconnecting from your screen at least 2 hours before sleep, which studies have shown improves sleep quality. Make rest appealing by treating yourself to new pillows and sheets or invest in a sleep spray** like the thisworks deep sleep pillow spray.

_{**Even though I gave you an Amazon affiliate link, I truly have tested this product and can’t say enough positive things about that spray. I was gifted a travel sample size at a very posh hotel, and now it’s a go to in my travel bag to help me rest when I’m on the go. I’m talking about instant heavy eyes, wake up with drool on the pillow deep sleep.}

Relaxation:

The third ‘R’ – Relaxation. I will admit, I am TRASH when it comes to relaxing. The self-deprecating joke I share is I am wound so tight that the simple act of relaxing may make me come apart at the seams. I’m sure there is also a joke in there about the trauma of being a 9/11 generation millennial, an only child, and gifted to boot. So we ask – How’s that high functioning undiagnosed anxiety treating you? Well, all jokes aside, the last year I’ve journeyed my soul to discover what honestly relaxes me; and I’m here to report that my relaxation habits are….. bougie. I was clearly not born to be middle class, with my expensive taste I probably should have married a rich man, but alas I married for love, so my relaxation comes with a price tag that I budget for.

For me, relaxation also serves as self care. I have invested in massages and facials, I used to get them quarterly but with work travel, I have fallen off my routine. However, relaxation doesn’t have to break the bank or dent your budget. Things like taking a long bath and adding some aromatherapy to the water is a quick relaxation reset when you need a minute. Reading is a screen-free activity, so joining a book club that meets monthly is a great way to connect but also relax. If you’re a creative, spend some time crafting and immerse yourself in your craft of choice. Relaxation, just like restoration and rest looks different for every one.

Step Three: Connect in real life

“Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” – Brené Brown

Create uninterrupted space for connection

Sure, technology keeps us connected, but what we see in the feed is rarely the full story. Like I said earlier, it’s the highlight reel. This is why the third step of connecting in real life is so important, even if that means using video call technology like FaceTime, Zoom, Teams, or WhatsApp to connect. The goal is to create an uninterrupted space to have conversations with loved ones, either in person or if you live hundreds of miles away, via phone or video call.

Plan outings with friends

As Brené’s quote says, we are hardwired to connect, and creating connection takes work, but when you find those relationships that give you purpose and meaning, nurture them. Nurturing means finding time to plan outings or trips with friends. In my case, most of my best friends don’t live near me, so I make intentional time to travel almost monthly to see them. My longest friendships live out of state, so making time requires a bit more planning and finesse. We don’t always win on the time management game, but we do try. Fun outings have also evolved over the years as tiny humans have joined the fold, but let me tell you; these are the best years and I’m having the most fun. I usually only have my phone in my hand to capture pictures and videos, because these are the most precious memories. The most important aspect of our time together is connection.

Hobbies

If you can’t travel to connect with friends, and you are seeking connection in general I recommend adopting a hobby that doesn’t require screens. I’m starting to see a trend in “golden year” hobbies becoming quite popular, such as embroidery, quilting, and gardening. Volunteering is also a great opportunity to build connections without dependence on screen time. If you were ever a member of Greek life or academic societies think about reaching out to your local college or university and inquire about getting involved. Mentoring through these outlets or community charities can be an absolutely fulfilling hobby.

Step Four: Plan an Unplugged Day

If you’ve been incorporating steps 1-3 into your day to day detox from technology, I think you’re ready for step 4, or perhaps step 4 has already happened organically. When you are ready, challenge yourself to plan an unplugged day. That’s right, fully disconnect.

When you are ready to fully disconnect, choose activities to fill your time with joy and bring you a sense of relaxation.

The decision to unplug to recharge is all about being intentional in stepping away from digital devices, work, and other stressors. You can read this blog all day and take some good points from it, but it is ultimately your personal choice to make the intentional effort to incorporate these practices into your life.

Before I wrap this up, please remember that when you make intentional choices, you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to “why” you walked away from technology or social media. I’ve learned from experience that the people who matter in your life will show up and check in on you regardless of how often you update your status on social media. Those are the real connections to nourish and nurture, where you are real friends and not just followers.

Now go and detox! You deserve it.